Showing posts with label emotion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label emotion. Show all posts

Friday, March 6, 2009

A "poor me" attitude shows you don't have control of your emotions

After watching Kyle Kendrick throw up his hands after giving up two hits in an exhibition game against Team USA, Phillies pitching coach Rich Dubee, 51, called time out, hustled out to the mound, and "laid into his 24-year-old pitcher."

"He threw his arms up like, 'Poor me,' and that doesn't show control of your emotions," Dubee said after the Phillies' 9-6 loss to Team USA. "Sometimes, during the course of the season, you're going to face adversity. That's not acceptable behavior, it really isn't. He still needs better body language, better presence. He looks a little frail at times. That's showing the other team you're scuffling, and you don't ever want to let your guard down. . . . We've got to get over that hump, focus, and make another quality pitch."

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

The three myths of leadership

From Dayle Smith's book "The Eleven Keys of Leadership," in which the author outlines the "three myths of leadership."

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The process of understanding leadership in all its human diversity begins by discarding three tired myths about leaders. These myths are hazardous because they attempt to exclude ourselves for the candidate list for leaders. Worse, these leadership myths distort the nature of true leadership.

The Birthright Myth: "Leaders are born, not made."

This myth has deep and tangled cultural roots. The widespread belief that leaders either "have it" or don't from their earliest years springs in part from more than two thousand years of literature emphasizing the role of the hero.

In the great majority of these works of imagination or retold history, the hero is distinguished from fellow men or women by innate superior strength, courage, wisdom, physical attractiveness, and virtue. The present themselves as unique individuals, and essentially mysterious beings -- "above the common herd," in Byron's phrase.

This myth is dangerous when applied to leaders in businesses and other organizations. Many of the most prominent leaders reveal that far from being "naturals" for leadership positions, they had to learn to lead, often by painful lessons of trial and error.

Contrary to the "Birthright Myth," leaders turn out to be remarkably like the rest of us, but with the difference that they know the skills and techniques of leadership.

The For-All-Seasons Myth: "Once a leader, always a leader."

Allied to the Birthright Myth is the inaccurate but widely held belief that certain people are everywhere, at all times, capable of assuming the challenges of leadership, no matter what the circumstances. The Birthright Myth attributes such talent to heritage; the For-All-Seasons Myth attributes it to character and track record.

When leaders are drawn away from their areas of strength and become overcommitted with unfamiliar responsibilities, they neither serve their followers nor themselves well. Leaders can emerge from the unique circumstances of the moment. No myth about a person's past or present status as a leader should keep us from considering others, or ourselves, as potential leaders.

The Intensity Myth: "Leaders are more emotionally intense than the rest of us."

This myth is based on the notion that great leaders feel things more broadly or deeply -- and are more emotionally intense -- than the rest of us mere mortals.

Just as the range of human emotions is extensive, so too this myth takes many forms. Probably the best known or most common is the Anger Myth -- the idea that the boss is mad and we'd better watch our step. But is anger or intense emotion the generally shared characteristic of all or most leaders?

No. The Anger Myth stems from the old belief that most workers hate what they do and must be driven by the stick of anger to put in an honest day's work. In this view, workers are supposedly motivated to do what they hate (their jobs) by the ever-present threat of explosive anger and related punishments.

The adjectives used to describe these bosses are revealing: No-nonsense, hard-driving, impatient, quick-tempered, mercurial, curt, brusque, and moody.

Although jolts of fear can electrify performance in any organization over the short term, it turns out that in most cases the angry leader self-destructs (often to the relief of bruised workers) -- and often leaves considerable wreckage -- if not total destruction -- at his or her passing.

In addition, the brightest and the best want to be treated well. They don't work for long for a boss whose emotional repertoire is limited to anger, sullenness, and sarcasm.

The Intensity Myth extends to emotional intensity in many forms. One notion of leadership holds that the true leader exudes more confidence than ordinary mortals; another suggests that the leader is consistently more optimistic than others or is more passionate about opinions and beliefs.

All such "extraordinary-emotional-state" explanations have been contradicted by more than five decades of research. As a result, the many attempts to define what leaders "are" have been superseded by more objective and successful studies of what leaders "do."

Leaders should not attempt to display one emotional facade (whether anger, confidence, or optimism), as if that front alone would a leader make.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

The fragility of today's players

Good Q&A with Tennessee coach Pat Summitt in Time magazine this week in which she describes how players of today differ from when she started coaching back in the mid-1970s:

"I really think that kids are more fragile now. I don't know why. But they don't seem to have as much toughness. If you call them out, you can just break their spirit. You have one-on-one meetings, go over and just talk to them during practice. It's just that they're sensitive. They're more fragile."

Only knowing one way to play

St. Mary's center Omar Samhan recently told a story about how former Laker Mark Madsen (pictured here), who'd graduated from the same high school as Samhan, would return in the summers to scrimmage with Samhan.

More than anything, what Samhan remembers about those practices is Madsen's work ethic.

"He played so hard," Samhan said. "He played like he was in practice with Shaq and Kobe and those guys. He dove for a ball, and I asked him, 'What are you doing? You could get hurt.' And he said, 'I only know how to play one way.'"

Madsen, a former standout at Stanford who played nine seasons in the NBA and won titles with the Lakers in 2001 and 2002, would give Samhan advice, too.

"(Madsen) always reminds me that basketball is a game, to enjoy it and always, always play hard," Samhan said. "You start out playing the game for fun, not getting a scholarship or making money. Those are just bonuses if you're extremely fortunate. He says he sees too many players who don't have fun anymore."

[Worked color for Thursday night's St. Mary's game against USF, so I had a chance to watch Samhan, who had 12 points in 23 minutes. Doing TV again tonight when the Gaels (19-3) travel to Santa Clara.]

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Intelligence over emotion

In Washington, Ed Tapscott, who took over as coach the Wizards around Thanksgiving of last year, is emphasizing composure and diligence over the course of an 82-game season:

"The NBA season is a marathon. So you learn that you have to ease out the bumps and stay on an even keel, because it's long and difficult and you're presented with challenges. You can't get hysterical about it, because it leads to hysteria on the team. You stay calm and analytical and keep telling the guys, 'I over E' -- intelligence over emotion. Let's use that. Let's be smart about what we do, not emotional about it. You can be smart every day. You don't want to be emotional every day. It can't help you."

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

The role of a team's spiritual leader

Thanks to Ken for pointing me toward the Washington Post's section called "On Leadership."

There's a terrific opinion piece there from former Eagles, Rams, and Chiefs coach Dick Vermeil, who writes about "Strength in Faith."

~~~~~~~~~~

There is definitely a place for religion in football as there is a place for it in all parts of life. It is a deep part of all locker rooms. Every team I've been involved with has had a spiritual leader. They have no particular responsibilities, but rather act to bring players together.

To anyone who would say there is "too much" religion in football I would have to ask: how could there be too much of something that improves the chemistry and attitude of a team whether that be physical, mental, emotional or spiritual? It is completely voluntary and really brings teammates together, sharing beliefs, thoughts, messages.

In my decades of coaching, I never recognized a problem with it. In most aspects of life, spirituality helps bring people together, that's our culture. Sometimes on a team different religions become one faith, they become a belief in each other, a belief in the team and strength grows out of that.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

The best leaders are masters of their emotions, not servants to them

Interesting passage from the late sports psychologist Gary Mack's book "Mind Gym" about a conversation he once had with Edgar Martinez, a 7-time MLB All-Star who spent all 18 years of his pro career with the Seattle Mariners.

At one point during their conversation, Mack asked Martinez to describe what he worked on as he moved from the minors to the majors.

Surprisingly, it had nothing to do with batting or fielding.

"I worked a lot on my emotions," said Martinez. "I don't have a real bad temper, but I can remember some things I've done in the past, like hit the wall or hit the helmet box. But I learned from experienced players that that's not the way you do it. Don't let your teammates or the other team know that you're down or struggling. It's going to hurt your teammates because they're not going to trust you. If you're going to get upset, don't do it on the field. Go into the bathroom, or someplace where you are along and just let it go."

As Mack writes, "the best athletes [and coaches] are masters of their emotions and not servants to them."

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Falling into a trap

At his weekly press conference yesterday, Kentucky coach Billy Gillispie, whose team beat Tennessee earlier this week in Knoxville and plays at UGA on Sunday, talked about how some games are a trap:

"For any team, I think you have to be concerned about who you are play after playing one of your biggest rivals. It is a perfect set-up if you are not mentally strong. There are a lot of psychological things as well as physical things that are possible traps. There are a lot of things that are potential trap things for an inexperienced team.

I am not saying this is a trap game, but there are some traps out there... that our team could get caught in. I'm not talking about the end result of winning or losing, but how we go about playing the game and there is a big difference there. We could be at our emotional peak and played the best we can play and still get beat."

Monday, January 5, 2009

Learning how to play at big moments

Interesting article here about preparing young players to "perform on a big stage."

Pierre McGuire (pictured here), a longtime hockey analyst for TSN and NBC, believes events like hockey's World Junior Championship teach players "how to play at big moments."

According to McGuire, events like the WJC are "about emotion, having enough emotion to win, but also controlling your emotion so it doesn't become a detriment to your ability to win."

Tournaments and high-profile games serve as "an amazing preparatory tool for players in terms of learning how to become better and learning how to play at big moments. Very few players have the opportunity to be cultivated in an environment like that."

"The pros get it. The more big moments you play, the more leadership you have the more mature you become, and the better you can handle the big theater."

According to the article: "There’s nothing revelatory about this. Every successful young athlete in every sport learns about composure and gains maturity somewhere along the line."

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Technical fouls as an indicator of passion

A lot has been made about the rate Boston players have been accumulating technical fouls.

Kendrick Perkins (pictured here with Doc Rivers), KG, and Paul Pierce all rank among the NBA's top 15 technical foul leaders.

Through 20 games, Perkins has nine technical fouls, Garnett and Pierce each have three, and Leon Powe, who is also in the top 25, has two.

According to Celtic players, many of the fouls are strategic.

"We initiate a lot of the noise talking," said Perkins. "That's just how we are. That's how we play. Guys are trying to get at us, so we're going to try to get at them first."

Says Pierce:

"I use it to get in my opponent's head. I use it to frustrate my opponent, sort of like what Larry Bird used to do in the day and Michael (Jordan) did. I use it more as a tactic. It's a strategy I use. I use it in practice sometimes and Coach gets mad at me."

According to Ray Allen, technicals are a sign that a team is engaged emotionally:

"I like the aggression. It's like getting a three-second call on defense. You'd rather be leading the league knowing that everybody is coming to help as opposed to nobody is every getting in the lane. It's the same thing with technicals. You know guys are out there and passionate and playing hard."

BOS coach Doc Rivers like the emotion, but understands there's a downside, describing it as "emotional sabotage," which this article defines as "being so emotional that you let it ruin the way you play."

"You want [players like Perkins] to be emotional, but you don't want him to have what we call 'emotional sabotage.' That's what happens at times. He has to be able to be emotional, but he can't allow his emotions to be sabotaged. We're an emotional team, that's part of our makeup. We can't get it to the point where we're getting techs, but you can't legislate guys having energy and fun with each other."

Monday, December 1, 2008

A willingness to listen

Good story in the Minneapolis Star-Tribune yesterday about Vikings defensive coordinator Leslie Frazier, a member of the Bears' 1985 Super Bowl team who began his coaching career at tiny Trinity College outside of Chicago.

Coach Frazier played for Buddy Ryan in Chicago and was an assistant on Tony Dungy's staff in Indy when the Colts won Super Bowl XLI.

According to the article, "Frazier's coaching philosophy was shaped by two men in particular: Dungy and former Bears defensive coordinator Buddy Ryan. Both coaches left lasting impressions on him in terms of strategy and managing players. Though his low-key personality stands in stark contrast to the fiery Ryan, Frazier said he's tried to emulate Ryan's willingness to listen to his players."

"As great as he was as a coordinator, I think one of his greatest strengths was he would listen to us as players," Frazier said. "We would be in the middle of the game and I would say, 'Hey Buddy, I feel more comfortable if I could do this versus that.' He would go, 'Just make it work.'

As a player, when a guy says something like that to you as opposed to being rigid and saying, 'This is the way I want it. You have to do it that way,' you respond and you want to make it work because he's empowered you.

So when Jared Allen or Ben Leber comes to me and asks, 'Can we look at this. Is that all right?' -- for me to be so rigid and not listen, that would be a contradiction to what I saw from a guy who I think is one of the greatest defensive coordinators in National Football League history."

According to Coach Frazier, coaching is more than simply developing a game plan:

"It's important that the guys who are in leadership... that we really have to lead from an emotional standpoint as well and not just X's and O's. Brad [Childress] talks to us all the time about that. Players are going to follow our lead."

Monday, November 24, 2008

Why Derrick Rose will be among the NBA's best for a long time

Here's another reason CHI's Derrick Rose will be a great player for a long time: He not only recognizes when he makes a mistake, but he fully admits it and works to correct it.

When Bulls assistant coach Del Harris approached Rose recently to discuss a missed assignment, Rose quickly acknowledged it, saying: "I know, I know, it was terrible. I can't believe I did that. I should have been over there, and the guy was open, and I missed him."

Said Coach Harris: "He is harder on himself than any coach."

Rose is also eager to learn. After each game, CHI coach Vinny Del Negro has Rose complete a questionnaire. Rose and Coach Del Negro review the completed questionnaires, then file them in a binder until the next time they play that opponent.

According to Coach Del Negro, who learned the technique from Dick Motta:

"Each one has six questions. What offensive sets worked well against this team? What defensive sets were they in? Who did you guard? Was he a post-up player? What was effective and what wasn't? What did you learn about this team, and what did you learn in transition?"

When asked what he learned during a recent loss to Boston, Rose replied:

"They never stopped talking on the court. They were aggressive with everything, always showing emotion. That's not my way. But to be a leader, I've got to do it."

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Taking responsibility for your behavior

It's no secret that coaches can sometimes get caught up in the heat of the moment. Bo Pelini is no different.

During his first season as head coach at Nebraska, Coach Pelini "has drawn unwanted attention for his tirades against officials, assistant coaches and players."

But he's vowed to correct his behavior:

"That's something I've got to fix. I understand that. I'm a highly emotional guy. I've got to be careful. There's a difference between being animated and using some words you wish you didn't use. I'm not perfect by any means, and I understand that. What I try to do is evaluate what's happening with me and try to learn from it. I've got to be smarter."

Monday, November 3, 2008

Channeling competiveness in a postive way

Almost one year ago, the Tampa Bay Rays made a trade that included Matt Garza, a pitcher who "was 8-13 over parts of two seasons with Minnesota and was known for having a temper that could be as explosive as his fastball."

After an incident in June when Garza and a teammate "scuffled" in the dugout during a game against Texas, Garza went to Rays manager Joe Maddon and said, "I need help controlling my emotions." Coach Maddon contends "it was a huge turning point for him."

With the help of a sports psychologist:

"Garza learned to channel his competitiveness in more positive ways. For instance, when he needs to make an important pitch, Garza is apt to walk off the mound, remove his cap and read inspirational writings scrawled inside it."

The results were immediate and clearly contributed to the 24-year-old Garza earning ALCS MVP honors, the youngest pitcher ever to win the award.

Said one of Garza's teammates: "I've never seen a guy mature emotionally and professionally over the course of one season like this guy has done."

Sunday, November 2, 2008

The manifestation of emotional investment

David Ivey, an assistant at Alabama-Huntsville, was nice enough to pass along a link to the University of Florida's press conference -- featuring QB Tim Tebow -- following the Gators' loss to Ole Miss back in September.

Whether you're a Tebow (or UF) fan or not, it's a unique "peek behind the curtain" of a player who is emotionally vested in his team's success.

It's also an indicator of how a team can bounce back after a seemingly devastating loss as evidenced by UF's win over UGA this past weekend.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Adding emotion to the plan

UF coach Urban Meyer and UGA coach Mark Richt are both considered excellent motivators.

As an example, "After moving to Florida, [Coach Meyer] whipped his team into a frenzied state for the national championship game against Ohio State by wallpapering their hotel meeting room with clippings about how the Gators didn't even deserve to be on the same field."

Coach Meyer also plays video of his team's losses on a "continuous loop" in the locker room, weight room, and athletic offices.

To turn up his team's energy level, Coach Richt has secretly ordered new uniforms for his team and, last season, "He told his players they'd better celebrate so much after their first touchdown that they received an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty; if not, they would do some extra running when they got back to Athens."

After the Bulldogs scored, the entire team left the sideline and stormed into the endzone.

Said Richt:

"I always knew motivation was important. But I thought all the fundamentals and stuff were here [putting his right hand above his head] and all that emotion stuff was here. I learned it's really about 50-50. You try to do a good job preparing the team in fundamentals and scheme-wise, but you also want to find a way to add emotion to the plan."